Wednesday Mid-day Ponderings/ now Sunday!

Hey Team!

So yeah I would call us a team. If we are all taking the time to read these crazy updates then that means we are united in some way so we are a team. (Man I miss orgonized sports)

It is Marie this time. I have had alot of thoughts running through my head since Monday morning. See what happened is Sunday night (the 25th) I prayed that Josiah would be protected and that the tube would not come out etc. That night I had a dream that Josiah had self extabated. I was ansy in the morning but I did not think much of it. When I walked in that morning he looked really peaceful and his face was all clean, but there was blood around his lips. Then I found out he had self extabated. I did not handle it well at all.

I took time to cry and yes, yell at God. I was very upset and did not understand. I cried for hours. I then came to the conclusion that I would not curse the name of the Lord and that he is good. I gave him the situation and continued to cry. I then told God that I needed a friend, and no one was comming in that day.

So I finally decided that I needed to try and do something. I mosied over to Second cup crying the whole way and when the line up was long I was sad about it and decided with frustration that I would go to Starbucks instead. When I got to the counter and was asked what I wanted I could barely talk. The girl asked how I was doing and I could not answer. She then said the drink was on them and I paid for my muffin. When I was trying to find a place to sit the girl at the counter came and found me. She said I am on my break do you want to talk. I then asked her if she was a Christian and she said yes and I huged her and told her that she was an answer to prayer. Her name is Christy. Wow!! I was able to vent and it made me feel much better to talk all my thoughts out and to have her just listen. She has now passed on Josiah as a prayer request at her Church! God is so good.

That night I was praying for Josiah and a few bible stories came to mind. The one about the man who came to Jesus to ask him to heal his daughter and just as he was talking to Jesus his servant came and told him that it was to late and his daughter was dead. Things were at there worst. Jesus told him to go home she was just sleeping and is alive. Then the story of Lazereth. He was int he tomb for 3 days, what could be more against the odds of him ever living again! He did! Then the Story of Hannah pleading for a son. She was in so much termoil and was so real before God that the temple priest thought she was drunk! He gave her a son! I love that God wants us to be real with him. So I told these stories to Josiah and gave our son to God as God wanted me to do at that time. I remembered that before I even knew I was pregnant I heard God say that this child is Isabella. Obviously Josiah is not a girl but it is apparent to me now that the meaning is what God was saying. He is Consecrated on God. That is what Isabella means. So hey I guess I will always be worrying about my son as long as I am alive! He is going to be a rpeacher in the jungles of Africa! Now that is something to worry about hey? I will give that to God when I have to :)

So I then had a peace that God is going to heal Josiah. He is going to make Josiah a blessing and bring Glory to His name, against all odds, through our son. Wow! What a privalege to be Josiahs mom! I feel like the mother of Billy Graham! he he he... ok a little over board I know.

The next day God challenged me stop protecting my heart and protecting God. God has both and I do not need to worry about it. I am suposed to have faith and not waver in it. So that is what I will do out of obedience to God and with the faith he has given me because faith does not come from ourselves but God puts it on our hearts.

Did you know that my dad had a paralized vocal cord and was told he would never sing again! Well for those who know him he is singing, loud and strong. Anyway God told dad he was healed and it would be in Gods timing. When dad was whispering to people that he was healed they looked at him weird. But it did happen. Wow! What faith to say it outloud when it is not even done on the outside yet!

This is just like our time with Josiah, we are trusting he is healed we are now waiting on Gods timing. This is hard on mommy right now. I just want to pick him up and take him home!! Man this is a hard thing to have patience for. God spoke to me through a starbucks coffee mug ya know! It is one I have seen only on the day I was losing patience and I have not seen it again. It said "patience is a vertiue. Life is a waiting game..." So yeah God speaks in crazy ways. I started laughing out loud in the milking parlor when I read it.

So here we are. Still in desparate need of your prayers. Trust me I know that is the only reason I am holding together right now.

Josiah says thank you and that he really hates his tube and is excited for it to come out. He says that he hates his harness and tried to interpret the incredible hulk but could not get out. He is greatful that God is going to heal him and is trying to have patince too.

Mommy is thankful for the harness. Those times when children to not understand that mommy and daddy know best for the time being.

So this was a little late and was supposed to be for the 21st of March post but that is ok. better late then never.

Love you all in Christ. Lets keep having faith and trusting in the Lord.

Mommy,
Marie