Mommy Misses You!

Today I feel tired and sorrowful. Oh how I miss you Josiah. I just want to hug you and tell you that mommy loves you.

I miss holding him and having him lean on me, look up at me, smile, and then go back to the book, conversation, or TV that we were watching at the time. I miss how he would hold my hand. I miss his smell. I miss his smiles. I miss his touch. I miss his excitement about the same old things. I miss his enthusiasm about seeing the next page in the story. I miss his partying at 3am. I miss the noise of his toys. I miss feeding him big boy food and seeing his faces with new flavors. I miss his CD's (which I refuse to play). I miss laying with him for naps. I miss laying beside him when he just would wake up. I miss how he would reach for my face with such gentleness. I miss how he would wave his hand in the air until we would give him attention. I miss his 'peak-a-boo' game. I miss his laughter. I miss comforting him when he cried. I miss bath time. I miss 'ball toy' time. I miss cuddle time. I miss going for walks with him. I miss playing at the park with him. I miss ministering with him to everyone who would stop and talk. I miss being with him outside under the trees. I miss being at the zoo with him. I miss traveling with him. I miss going to the art store with him. I miss buying him new clothes. I miss play dates with him. I miss showing him off to people we would meet. I miss playing piano with him. I miss 'tigger toy joy' during trake tie changes. I miss being a mom. I feel so empty.